We put the Christmas decorations up yesterday and whilst we were decking the halls with boughs of holly, faa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa laa I remembered some Christmas's past which I bravely thought I would share. We're going away for a couple of days this weekend so won't be back in Blogland until Monday. I hope I still have some readers by then.
1) I discovered that Santa Claus didn't exist when I was about 9 years old. I was sleeping peacefully in my bed when I heard an almighty racket. Super excited I jumped out of bed and ran to the landing, desperate for a glimpse of Santa. I saw my Mum spreadeagled on the stairs, Santa hat askew with a pillow case full of presents splaying out behind her. "Bollocks, sorry kids" she said. "Too much wine". Thanks ma.
2) School Christmas assembly circa late eighties. I decided to sing "Little Donkey" to the tune of Bananarama's "Love in the first degree". I was promptly removed from assembly by Mrs O, pulling me by the ear.
3) Waking up one Christmas morning to find I was the proud owner of a gorgeous new jogging suit. Mint green colour complete with penguin motifs. Loved it. Loved it so much that in my excitement I peed in it. This wasn't last year, despite what you're thinking.
4)My elder sister is a total pig when it comes to chocolate. When we were little she could demolish three selection boxes before Christmas dinner. This particular year she decided that hers didn't provide nearly enough nourishment so she stole mine too. She tried to tell me that our fat golden retriever had eaten it. The only flaw in her plan was the fact that all the wrappers had been neatly opened, chocolate removed and the wrappers left in the box. The dog was clever, but not quite that clever.
5)Last but not least and my favourite of all. This time last year, sitting with my hands resting on my almost six month bump imagining our first Christmas with our beautiful baby girl as she wriggled around inside me.
Merry Christmas everyone and see you next week x
The Mighty Dead Adam Nicolson
2 hours ago