Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Boys and their toys

If I catch M trying to shut down a page quickly on the computer I never worry that its porn. I know fine well that if I dig deep into the browsing history I'll see he's been on Autotrader, or Piston heads or something similar.

I remember his best man at our wedding made me a sandwich board to wear, covered in pictures of cars. He said it was just in case the passion went out of our marriage.

To say M is obsessed with cars would be the understatement of the year. As we walk down the street and I see his head turn and hear him whistle, I know he won't be looking at some hot girl, it'll be an Audi, or a porsche or something like that.

Recently I arranged to visit my brother and his family. I mentioned it to M but he said he wouldn't be able to come with me "Can't get the day off" he said. Too much to do" he said. So imagine my surprise when the night before me and Little Legs set off he piped up "I think I'll come". Mmmmmmmm. Suspicious.

So we set off. After about an hour M said "Might leave you for an hour if you don't mind. I've seen a car I want to look at". I KNEW IT!!

Anyway, the day thereafter went something like this:

10:30am Arrived at my brothers house
10:45am M goes off to make phone call about car
11:00am Plan day trip with my brother and family
11:15am M gets in car to set off. Me, my sister and law and the kids get into her car expecting to be swiftly followed by my brother
11:16am I hear a screech as M drives off. I realise my brother has got in the car with him. He's also a car nut.
11:17am We watch the pair of them drive off into the distance laughing their little socks off.
1:00pm Whilst having a lovely day with my SIL and the kids I receive a phone call from my brother. "We'll be with you in half an hour. M's just signing on the line". "HE'S WHAT?"" I screamed

Luckily for him I am a very forgiving wife. He has managed to convince himself that he bought the car for LL, for her safety and comfort. I for a fact know LL doesn't need that much horsepower. I feel a very expensive shopping trip coming on...revenge is sweet.

Friday, 12 February 2010

Five years on...

Exactly five years ago today me and M went on our first date. This was quickly followed two days later by date number two on Valentines Day. I think we both knew even then that it was the beginning of something special.

We first met the November before at work and I remember even then telling a friend that I had met the man I was going to marry. There were no bolts of lightning or love at first sight moments, I just knew.

We got off to a fairly rocky start in the early days. M was the kindest, most honest, most genuine man I had ever met and for some reason this made me hit the destruct button and run for the hills. By August things had settled down and we moved in together and from then on began a closeness and a friendship so amazing and special that it is difficult to put into words.

M proposed in January 2007 whilst we were on a romantic trip to Prague. We were at the top of one of the towers on the Charles Bridge at sunset as M went down on one knee. It doesn't get any more romantic than that. I didn't see it coming though and whilst M was preparing for his big moment I was leaning over the side of the tower trying to see if I could spit on the innocent public down below. Nice touch!

We married on 31st August 2008. Our wedding invitations quoted 'Beautiful is the day that is touched by love' and beautiful it was. Whilst we made our vows we both shared a very special secret, I was six weeks pregnant with Little Legs. We remembered reading at the time that baby's heart starts to beat from about six weeks and we always told ourselves that LL's started the day we married.

Like any couple we have our ups and downs but when I look at M and I look at our beautiful daughter I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Jack of all trades Master of none

Dear Agony Aunt

I've been back at work now for 4 weeks and boy am I struggling. I feel as though I've been spread thinner than my Weightwatchers Light spread at the moment with no hope of a reprieve.

I feel bad moaning, particularly because I know so many Mums who have no choice but to return to work, some of them full time, but I can't help it. I can't stop myself from feeling a bit down in the dumps. Well, a lot actually.

Little Legs (my daughter) has adjusted so well. She doesn't bat an eyelid whether it's me, M (that's my husband, my rock), or her grandparents who are looking after her. I'm the one who's not coping.

Don't get me wrong, the wonderful welcome I get from her when I walk through the door more than makes up for a bad day in the office but I miss the times we had when I wasn't working. Our pace of life has changed dramatically and I'm doing a very bad job of keeping up with it both at home and at work.

At work I feel as though as soon as I get caught up with what I've missed I'm off again. I've rejoined the team I was with before I left and they're fantastic but as a 'part timer' I feel quite vulnerable, like a spare part with no clue at all as to what's going on.

At home I cherish the days I have with Little Legs yet feel guilty when I have to spend some of that precious time catching up with jobs I won't be able to do when I'm at work. Throw a new business and a big fat lot of stress and guilt into the mix et voila, my life on a plate.

How do I get the balance right?

Yours sincerely

Mrs Desperate