If I catch M trying to shut down a page quickly on the computer I never worry that its porn. I know fine well that if I dig deep into the browsing history I'll see he's been on Autotrader, or Piston heads or something similar.
I remember his best man at our wedding made me a sandwich board to wear, covered in pictures of cars. He said it was just in case the passion went out of our marriage.
To say M is obsessed with cars would be the understatement of the year. As we walk down the street and I see his head turn and hear him whistle, I know he won't be looking at some hot girl, it'll be an Audi, or a porsche or something like that.
Recently I arranged to visit my brother and his family. I mentioned it to M but he said he wouldn't be able to come with me "Can't get the day off" he said. Too much to do" he said. So imagine my surprise when the night before me and Little Legs set off he piped up "I think I'll come". Mmmmmmmm. Suspicious.
So we set off. After about an hour M said "Might leave you for an hour if you don't mind. I've seen a car I want to look at". I KNEW IT!!
Anyway, the day thereafter went something like this:
10:30am Arrived at my brothers house
10:45am M goes off to make phone call about car
11:00am Plan day trip with my brother and family
11:15am M gets in car to set off. Me, my sister and law and the kids get into her car expecting to be swiftly followed by my brother
11:16am I hear a screech as M drives off. I realise my brother has got in the car with him. He's also a car nut.
11:17am We watch the pair of them drive off into the distance laughing their little socks off.
1:00pm Whilst having a lovely day with my SIL and the kids I receive a phone call from my brother. "We'll be with you in half an hour. M's just signing on the line". "HE'S WHAT?"" I screamed
Luckily for him I am a very forgiving wife. He has managed to convince himself that he bought the car for LL, for her safety and comfort. I for a fact know LL doesn't need that much horsepower. I feel a very expensive shopping trip coming on...revenge is sweet.
The Mighty Dead Adam Nicolson
2 hours ago